JoslinsROCK

2007-07-09T21:01:00.000-05:00

2007-06-19 - Arrival in Belize

And awaaaaaayy we go!!

Guess who’s in Belize?

Well. me for instance. How did I get here. How did this happen.

For those of you who didn’t know, I recently “retired.”

“Retired” in the sense that my company (and I) which we sold last July, recently came to the conclusion, or “mutual agreement” that 1). They would stop paying me, and 2). I would stop showing up.

For that, I’m retired. It was a lifelong dream, and at 42 nonetheless.. Wow I’m going to enjoy it now! Living in my car, Traveling as far as the severance package allows. Freedom. The wind…

Awww Shit, I’ll be back at work in a couple of weeks. I can’t slow down that fast. I’m only on my 12th anniversary of my 30th birthday…

Besides, there’s that little voice in my head saying: “You want to eat dog food and live in a car the rest of your life?” BBaaaa HAAAA !!!

Ok, I’ll go back to work later. But for now, I’m in Belize.

Our adventure is but one day old, and already, we’ve met the Coutimundi people, the Dinosaur Hunters, and Drank rum while chomping Genips Poolside, overlooking the Guatemalan Border. All this and I have yet to be detained. Third world Police are no Match for JoslinsROCK!!!

There’s a lot of Rum here. I have done my best, but man! I need some help. Send reinforcements. It’s called One Barrel. It’s a deeply smoked Rum I have fallen in love with several times today. Like every time I pick up this glass.

But I guess I digress. I awoke at 3 AM, from a dream of love. The beach kind of love that only my wife can provide…. Ooops. Wrong blog. But true story. There’s no going back to sleep when you know you only have an additional hour to sleep.

If you didn’t know, the correct answer to the following question is 4:45 AM.

“honey, we’re 99% packed, and the dog is off to camp, having flipped us off with his little doggie paw, so, my question is… What time do we need to get up for a 9 AM flight?

And so it begins.

We’re light packers. Kinda… Like…… Moving van kinda vacationers…. “kitchen Sink” ring a bell to you? No shit. 44 pounds bags. Not just one or two, like you lightweights. But 10 Solid 40+ pound bags.

Do the math. 440 pounds, use 44 pounds of “stuff” a day, and throw the rest away. You go 14 days, and come home with a giant empty suitcase of Belizean Rum. That’s the goal. Get with the Program.

Yup, For two weeks, we managed to carry down 10 bags, all straining at 40+ pounds apiece. I thought my wife was crazy, until she answered the following question:

“Honey, What the FU$#%#$CK are you bringing bottles of WATER in the suitcase? I think if the country supports human life, you can reasonably expect there to be potable water.”

Response:

“We drink the water, fill the empties with Painkillers from our recipe”

Minda 1 Jon 0
Point!!!

And off we went.

Out limo driver arrived exactly at the pre-determined time of 6:45 AM. That s to say, the MUV (MOM Utility Vehicle) rolled out of the driveway at the pre-determined time, and our adventure began.

We were off to the airport, and dropped expertly at the curb, a mere 100 feet from our determined location. Not sure what was up with that, but I vaguely recall waving my arms to four porters, evidently not ready to work, as I carried said 440 pounds of “stuff” across the street from the “new” drop-off area.

Boarding passes in hand, and a quick wait at the airport, and we boarded the plane.

Young love… Young Love. Let’s get together and feel all right…

I sat next to a couple who got married the previous Saturday, and were on the way down to Ramons, on Ambergris Caye (That’s “KEY” to you and me).

I knew they were just married. Why? Here’s young love… She falls asleep. On him, leans over. He doesn’t do any of the following:

1). Thump her on the head
2). Invite others nearby to touch her nose
3). Pretend the plane is crashing
4). Paint, Shave, or color on her in any way.

I assured him he’d learn these and many many more, in the future.

My only regret was that I misspelled JoslinsROCK!!! on the side of her head. We’ll run into them on Ambergris later in the trip I am sure.

As she awoke, and I blamed the nearest flight attendant for her new hairdo, and as they restrained her,

I thought that she really could use a vacation.

I was secretly loving the fact that Belize especially Rocks, as the distance of the flight involved was so short (2 hours direct flight.. WOW! And did I mention all on miles?).

Belize Customs, Immigration and Baggage claim took a total of 17 minutes, including picking up my Rental. The airport is especially easy, and you pass immigration before getting your bags, then get them (mine were off first!!), then pass customs. That’s when you realize the “free” carts that are everywhere, are only free to the end of the customs area. A porter took it from here, and took my bags the 50 feet to the rental place (Budget if you care).

A Mitsubishi Outlander later, and I was one my way!! PS, Don’t even dream of getting a car here, as aside from the main highways, we’re talking unpaved roads!

As researched as I thought I was, the first thing the rental car lady asked was why on earth I was going through Belize City to get to San Ignacio, did I not know about the shortcut. After indicating it was a secret, and I couldn’t tell her, She showed me the Burrell Boom shortcut.

Thought for the day? Any shortcut that starts In the opposite direction of your intended direction, is not a shortcut. But alas, I was wrong, as this one avoided the city, and joins up at about Mile 15 on the western highway. Don’t worry, I’ll show you. I’m going with you on your vacation. Again.

On the way up, we stopped at Cheers, about mile mark 30. This involved us passing our intended destination by a mile, and returning.. That’s always fun with the kids..

Nope, we missed the zoo. Sorry kids, Can’t turn back. Got a schedule, and we just saved two hours.. haha.

PS, we left everything except cameras, passports and GPS in the car as we spent three hours in the zoo.. It was all there on the way out!

Back to lunch. At Cheers, I walked in and Yelled “NORM.”

IT was only funny to me, my wife, and the 6 cruise ship people who, at that PRECISE moment, seemed to enjoy passing freshly squeezed Watermelon juice through their noses..

I thought it was a Belizean tradition, but was not very good at it.

Neither was Remy.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Bellikin beer.. Cheers carried all three kinds..

It’s the only beer you’ll find down here, I am told.

So, back to the zoo. In 1983 or so, a person or persons decided not to eat the stars of a documentary being filmed, and created the zoo. That the short story.

The long story.. You have to see it! Animals in regular pens, a mere inches away, with no separation (or safety ditches, etc.

There are signs indicating you may lose a finger.. They mean it, and remarkable, we respected it! We saw Howler Monkeys, Toucans, Jaguars, Ocelots, etc from REALLLY close up!

I highly enjoyed the zoo, and having lived and been to the San Diego zoo many times, this was a treat that equaled it.

We almost passed it up, but I highly recommend, due to the nature of the way the animals are held (hostage?), you see this..

It’s up close and personal.

We moved on toward the Guatemalan border, with brief stops along the way. Guanacaste national Park, where we started our birding expedition.

Belize rocks for birding, and thanks to our lovely Aunt Julie (who unfortunately didn’t get to join us after all), we were armed with the 300+ page BIRDS in BELIZE book. I think at last count, we got over 115 species spotted!

We arrived at Cathal Pech Village, after realizing Central American Rule #14. The Bridge is one way. and not the way you are thinking.. Man they can get awnry! Haha..

The view.. The pool with a Pterodactyl.. It was awesome..

In my 500 emails back and forth with BARB, of BARBSBELIZE.COM (shameless plug for which I receive nothing), We went from looking for a two bedroom, to forgetting that this unit would not have a kitchen..

OOPS!! I think I failed to realize we had switched.

Oh well.. See 440 Pounds of stuff get dragged to the third floor.

As I was muttering, and drinking my first bottle of One Barrel (If I was to make it a whole barrel, I had a lot of work to do), I met the Dinosaur Hunters. These guys were working.. OH MYYYYY That sucks. There were four employees in oil and gas exploration, and they could tell tales.. They had been working 10+ hours days for six months.

Damn they were working down here… Not to mention the company, but it rhymes with Pchlumberger. My son loved the fact that these guys were talking about finding and Hunting dinosaurs, and when they found them, they would rip them from the ground, process the hack out of them, and BURN THEM in their cars… He was left with:
a). Nightmares
b). a distict nagging directive that I too, should burn dinosaurs in my car!
c). a desire to drink with these guys every night. Which, by chance, we did.

Early expectations, thoughts and a closing note.
WADE UNGER, wherever you are, there ARE Coatimundi!! And people DO hunt them!!

Short story, for 20 years, I’d occasionally ask if the story my friend Wade in high school told me was true. Evidently, when they lived in Panama, they’d Coutimundi “hunt” which involved, kids, Flashlights, Paper Bags, and standing in the forest “chasing” these unknown creatures toward one person..

Sound Familiar? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snipe_hunt.

I always thought they were a figment…

But alas, after a conversation at the zoo, and seeing one, I am a believer!

PS, as I finish a couple plates of assorted spicy Pastas, the bartender tells me it’s last call, and pours a five finger rum for the first time tonight, I find myself dreaming of bed, and wondering… Where do the dishes go?

My Valium Salt Lick calls.. See you in the morning.

PS, Sleeping Policeman are speedbumps!

2007-06-14 - It’s Belize Suddenly!!! “Crush the Liver 2007” “With Onions!”

2007-06-14T11:06:00.000-05:00

Photo Copyright (c) Lucy Wallingford and Slickrock Adventures, Inc
used with permision http://www.slickrock.com/belizemaps.htm

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
President Bush Recalls Ambassador Joslin,
Declares Mayor for Life Graybiel Reign Officially Over

It’s Belize Suddenly!!! “Crush the Liver 2007”
“With Onions!” terror has ended

Washington, DC, June 29th, 2007/PRNewswire via COMTEX/ --

As the last helicopter leaves Belizean airspace, with the newly recalled ambassador Joslin, and “Mayor for Life” Graybiel” Belizean-American tensions have lessoned dramatically, and the army of this tiny Central American Nation, has finally stood down, ending the shortest war declared against the United States in our history.

President Bush today said:
“My critics are always pointing out my ‘alleged’ mistakes, but I think we can all agree that history will show that, this was one BIG FRICKIN’ mistake. I hereby declare that the reign of “mayor for life” Graybiel has ended, Ambassador Joslin has been recalled, and that the “Crush the Liver 2007” tour (oh with onions), has come to a very very dramatic end.

As we piss and moan about my mistakes, I think we can all agree this one ROCKS! Bush added, as he signed the pardon papers.
“Now we hope to restore the trust that we have always had in the Belizean people, and hope that doubling our foreign aid is but the first step to repairing these obviously damaged relations.”

When asked what was next for the Joslin’s and the Graybiel’s, Bush was non-committal, but added, “I bet they aren’t invited back to Belize any time soon” We’ll probably send them back to St Martin next time.

When further queried, an AP reporter asked: “So exactly WHAT happened? How did we get here anyway?”

Well, It all started when…..

Read on tomorrow as we make this journey come true.

ABOUT - JoslinsROCK!!! Is a Houston based idenpendant, not for prfit (by any stretch!) organization that writes about the insane dealings of living with the Joslins, and works to safeguard the freedom of drinking and partying worldwide.

For more information about the Joslin’s, please read our blog at: . Read more at http://joslinsrock.blogspot.com/

Contact: Jon Joslin, Director of Public Relations, JoslinsROCK!!!, +1-555-555-5555 or jonjoslin@joslinsrock.com

- END -

###

To read my next post, please refer to:

http://joslinsrock.blogspot.com/2007/07/2007-06-19-arrival-in-belize-and.html

July 14th

2006-07-15T20:11:00.000-05:00

July 14th

Jon: “I think I broke my liver.”
Body: “Uh, you have a liver? “

Woke up early and ate the rest of the refrigerator. After two weeks, the omelet I made with “everything Left” was great! Let’s see if I have this right:

A six-egg, spaghetti sauce reduction, 4 cheese topped, rum drenched omelet with a side of Baby back ribs, Macaroni and cheese, with wilted Lebanese salad, and orange juice flambé. Served on a bed of day-old Chocolate Croissants and a Blue cheese side.

It’s really not as bad as it sounds. You should try it? Want the recipe?

Went down to the airport and checked luggage, and Returned Chairs and Cooler and a fan to Unity, who was going to hold it for Craig at Pack-LITE. He and I agreed that he’d be there at 1 PM, or I could leave them. Ehiel at Unity I asked my question directly about if I should pre-vacuum the car before returning it, and they assumed me, astonished, that noone spends a vacation vacuuming a car.

Since I didn’t have to be out of the room, we left our carry-ons there, and went to the beach. On Pelican beach, and finally met Kesemy, the beach guy Dan M recommended. Dan has known him for 20 years. When I introduced myself, and mentioned I knew Dan over the internet (I used two weeks of his on this trip), Kesemy instantly knew exactly who I was referring, mentioned his name, wife, and asked about their son. WOW great memory with one sentence. I updated Kesemy on the son’s college plans, as Dan suggested, and we had a great conversation. I only wished I had spent more time on property to get to know him better.

Hey Mistuh Papuh-man, it’s time to go home. Time to go home, time to go home.
(If you have never read don’t Stop the Carnival by Hermann woulk, while you are on vacation , you are missing out. Them go buy Buffett’s version of the paly the co-produced. It rocks!

We stopped on the balcony to say “Goodbye Paradise” (a family tradition) and talk of things we liked best. It always makes me cry. Coz, I’m a wuss.

We dressed, checked out in less than five minutes, after dropping the towel attendant a ten, and wished everyone onsite goodbye. The towel ladies were friendly, yet firm, and commented that my kids had the best manners they had seen in a long time. (Doesn’t hurt that I pre-warned them that if they weren’t nice and polite, the towel ladies would jump through the windows and chased you!).

I’d definitely never arrive or leave the Pelican on Saturday or Sunday. This was just too easy on Friday. Who knows, next time we’ll arrive Wednesday?

Ran into several people we “knew” in the airport, having met them on the island over the past 16 days. WOW small world. Kay and Bob are teachers, and we have run into them unplanned three times this trip.

Boarded, flew home with a stop through Miami, that took less than 30 minutes, including immigration, customs, rechecking our luggage AND going through security all over again. Still had 1 hour plus to eat at Chili’s express, and finish off the last four of our Carib, my wife stashed in her carry-on.

I declared everything, brought back 21 bottles of MADOUDOU, and paid Tariffs on nothing. I simply listed “Local French Rum” and $400 in the amount column, and was not even asked. My wife got a bag searched, as she did not realize we had dropped a lighter in there from BBB the night of the TTOL Party. We’re smokers so I didn’t even realize we had done it that night, (while smoking an infrequent cigar). They asked her for it, and she gave it up without incident.

Got home and our driver had 3 bottles of water cold for us. Mentioning he knew we’d need it..

Collapse..

Oddly enough, I don’t need a vacation form this vacation.

Cheers everyone, thanks for reading.

-Jon

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END OF DAY _____________________________________________________________________________________

July 13th

2006-07-15T20:10:00.000-05:00

July 13th
Hangover cure? Don’t sober up.

Woke up and visited my new home, Le Sucherie. Wow it’s so boring here. Get up early, eat magnificent French pastries, etc.etc.etc. Our mission today was a hike up Pic Paradis. For purposes of security, I’m not going to comment on how, why or whether this is a good idea. I’ll focus this story only on what we did on Loterie Farms property.

Loterie Farm

I’ll say that we drove to Loterie Farms, parked right next to stairs that lead to the restaurant, and hiked their property and beyond.

Jon and Minda at Loterie Farm

I’d recommend anyone who wants to see the rain forest go and do the “Hidden Forest” hike on their property. There were no security concerns there at all. Hike was $5.00 each, kids free, and on a scale of 1-10, I’d rate it a 4 if you are a hiker, 6 if you are old and fat (I’m not commenting on which I am).

45 minutes of strenuous hiking, and 800’ elevation gain to the high point, and my 6 and 8 year old did it with two rest breaks. Go early, Rest overy 200 steps, take lots of water. We were done by 10:30, having started early, before the cruise ship “Zip line” people got there.

The zip lines looked moderately interesting, but 10-30 feet above ground, and after climbing as a sponsored professional for years in Boulder, jumping out of planes all over the world, I wasn’t interested. (PS, I don’t recommend D.B Cooper imitations on commercial aircraft.. they HATE IT!

Loterie property was incredible, and just about snuck in as the high point of the trip. The hike described above starts in a 300 year old Mango Patch, where the stench of rotting mangos overwhelms to senses.

Huge 300 Year old Mango Tree

Walking through the first 200-300 yards, was like skating on ice, as their were literally hundreds of mangos dropped.

Mango Fields

We had mango trees in Key West earlier in life, but nothing like this. Imagine 1000+ mangos lining the path! I made a complete idiot of myself when I took off my clothes, wallowed about screaming “YOU CAN BURY ME HERE!”. Anyway…

View form Loterie Farm

The hike was excellent, and the top of the Loterie farm piece takes you to 800’, with clear views across the valley, and back down below.

Minda at Chewbacca Rock

The “map” they have to show you where to go looks tough, but it was easy.

Subtle Signs Can actually lead you to where others have been before.. You have to look closely.

We finished and came off the mountain at 10:30, making this one of the earliest days we had so far.

We stopped by the Butterfly Famr to say goodbye.

Butterfly Farm

We also decided to make it our last trip to Orient Beach.

Club "O" Sign

It was a bit windy when we arrived, but turned to a breeze after a while. Mom and the kids set up around KON Tiki, and I “took a walk” to Club O. It was nice, and definitely something I could do again, as I proved on my third time there. Met the reggae singer Dread “I” before I left, and my son would not give up the CD player he was carrying, as he loved the music. When I told him he was standing with the Artist, he loved it and asked for a picture. I paid $15 for his CD, and didn’t try to negotiate. It’s great!.

Ryan and Reggae Superstar "DREAD I"

Left orient beach with the intention of getting an early dinner, but decided to stop by SSBB and switch the $25 t-shirt I bought earlier, as it was dye stained on one shoulder. (YES $25.00!). It’s totally the principal, and they exchanged it no problem.

Run.. Run like the Wind!

SSBB is like Crack, in that this was our fifth evening there. We had a great time, and a full day, and it was still only 4:45 PM by the time we got there. The only traffic we saw was at the RUM JUMBIE sign (which needs a traffic circle, by the way).

Evidence at Bamboo Bernie's

After 15 minutes or so, We watched our first plane of the week take off TOWARD the ocean, instead of the mountains. My son asked why, and a guy standing nearby gave an explanation of weights, and ground speed, etc. that made me think instantly he was a pilot.

Rainbow in Paradise

He was indeed, for Delta, and we ended up spending the next couple of hours with them at Bamboo Bernies, playing Beat the Clock (affectionately known as KILL THY LIVER, in 30 MINUTE INCREMENTS). We felt like we had know them our whole lives, I am pretty close to a million-miler on Delta, and he has flown for them for 24 years. Their daughter was 14, son 17, and they had a great time with our kids. Great times, and I know we’ll see them again, as they are from Atlanta.

Make it a Double

As if this wasn’t enough, we stopped for our intended dinner, 4 hours later than expected, at Lee’s Roadside Grill. BIG BIG Thumbs up. I had a Mahi-Mahi and Shrimp Scampi special. The fish was “catch” and I believe it. It was simply put, the best fish I ever had. So good, that my wife, daughter and son all ate that dish too. Excellent stuff. It literally was grilled like a steak, and well worth the $20 price tag.

My son joined the singer on the stage. Yes, my 6 year old is a showboat, pumping up the crowd with a rendition of Twinkle Twinkle. When he was finished, he told the singer thank you and if he knew any “Harder” songs, he’d come back and sing again. That was priceless!

Ryan Sings at Lee's Roadside Grill

A late evening, and the packing begins.

Ryan Doing Shots of Tequila

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END OF DAY _____________________________________________________________________________________

July 12th

2006-07-15T14:31:00.000-05:00

July 12th, 2006
Liver - Two gentlemen will be over shortly to remove it.

Woke up and for the third day in a row, hit Le Sucherie for pastries (get the idea they ROCK?). Somehow, after visiting them nearly every day, I have failed to visit the Fitness spa upstairs. See belly, large. Then it was off for Pinel island, off the French Cul-De-Sac side of the island.

Pinel Island

Note to anyone who cares. The boats run over to Pinel every ½ hour, and return on the hour. Each boat holds 12 people, or 40 if you are on St Martin, and there is no Coast Guard.

Pinel Island 3

Hopefully, the water depth keeps fatalities to a minimum, because we were frightfully overloaded. Now, anyone good at math problems should be able to figure out that if the boats go over fully loaded at ten AM, and every ½ hour, and BACK to St Martin at 1,2,3 and 4 PM, there’s a math issue here.

Found the greatest Babysitter for the kids on Pinel

Babysitter for Ryan

Babysitter for Remy

We noticed at 2 PM it was time to get on the boat. With two more boats there were about 100+ people left on Pinel Island.

Anyway, Pinel was supposed to be good snorkeling, but LEFT of the boat pier, all the way around to the restaurants, it was DEVOID of marine life. Lots of SEA grass, but no real fish to see. The big draw here is the fact that the beach starts about 2” deep, and stays less than knee deep for 100-200 yards offshore in some places. That was cool. Not sure fi the really good snorkeling is RIGHT of the boat pier, but saw a tacky tourist type boat go there with a whole group.

Mom and Dad, Relaxing

Rented 2 chairs and an umbrella. They were nice, even though we moved them to get away form some of the people nearby. They start you like 1 foot apart, and the topless girl next to me was to big a distraction. (I kept spilling my beer). Once we dragged the chairs down 50’ and reset the umbrella, We had that end of the beach to ourselves.

More Feet in Paradise

About 2 PM, having had almost 5 hours of Pinel, we decided to leave and see a couple of east-side beaches before we went home. We headed the warning that the 4 PM boat was the last (The driver indicated that “if you miss the 4 PM boat, don’t worry, I’ll bring the coffee the next morning at 10 AM!”).

Left Pinel Island and went down to Dawn’s Beach, after parking at, and hitting the marina grocery store across from Mr. Busby’s, and asking permission to leave our car there. We walked through Mr. Busby’s, and talked briefly to the Owner(?) who was informative, said the Westin should provide 800 jobs, most from local, and provide much more security, and safety in that people will not be hanging around not working.

Westin construction 2

I hope for the island’s sake he’s right. But having 1000 guests within walking distance won’t hurt his business. He was funny too, as when we were talking, a hawker came by and asked if I wanted Remy’s hair braided. He jumped in front of us, and started ranting to her, that HE was BALD, and had not hair to braid, and started “crying” that she was picking on him. It was pretty funny, as he didn’t let up yelling louder and louder until she was about 50 feet away. I asked him if he wanted to join us for the rest of the day.

I liked Dawn’s beach, and added it as a must do for more time next time. The Westin is coming along, seems to be 2 floors framed. Mr’s B’s is there, but we had eaten earlier, and passed, but did buy a beer, and tell her to keep up the good fight against “the man” (Hi Dale, your expression used here!). the corporate people have been trying to chase her off the beach.

Had a good visit to dawn’s, and the kids enjoyed the surf, which was second only to Guyana beach in size. We left and Minda got the idea that she wanted to go back to Philipsburg, and shop for more jewelry. Since she works hard at home, taking care of the house, kids dog, etc. and is the Thriftiest person I have ever met, I pulled off my dry bag wallet, handed her all my cash, and my platinum card and said, spend whatever you want.. Understand, Minda is not normal. I hesitate to say this, because it’ll sound bad, but dang it, if I gave anyone else say $600 in cash, and a Platinum card with a $100K limit, they’d do the right thing (You know, call me from Monaco 6 weeks later and ask for another card).

Minda spent the next hour or so in Philipsburg, alone, while I took the kids to the beach. I kept a $20 bill for beer and gave her the rest. In retrospect, I wasn’t really taking a chance, was I?

Went on to Guyana beach with the Kids. Met a really nice French lady and her three kids, who said I must live there, as I was out of the tourist path. She showed me where the kids could and couldn’t enter, and we talked for a while.

Remy at Guyana Beach

As I was leaving, I met Cleveland, the owner of the Bar that sometimes opens on Guyana Beach (Mr B’s Jazz Club?). he said he just sold his business, and he hated the Cruise ships, who charged passengers $80 for a daily excursion, then paid him $12.50 a head to provide a drink, lunch, and chairs for the day. Then he indicated he waits 6 weeks for his money from the cruise ships. Ouch.

He seemed happy to have sold, and I thanked him for his parking lot, as it got me much closer. Went back to Philipsburg, picked up Minda nad found out the damage. She’s worth every penny I might add.

She jumped in and indicated she had found a ring for 850 and another for 1700. I was flabbergasted, and amazed that she would actually do it.. Very proud as a matter of fact, and she was happy.

Sidebar: Anyone who knows Minda has already jumped to the punch line, which was she meant $8.50 and $17.00. Married 15 years, I sat in stone cold silence for 10 minutes before realizing there was no way in the world she could have spend $2500.00, even with permission.. PS, she loves her sterling silver rings…
Haha.

Got back and had pasta, and shrimp, at the Pelican, and swam while Minda took a turn cooking.

Simpson Bay

Goodnight, and sleeeppp.

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END OF DAY _____________________________________________________________________________________

July 11th

2006-07-15T14:30:00.000-05:00

July 11th, 2006
Broken livers don’t taste as good with fava beans unless you marinate them in the chianti first.

Woke up early again today. For a vacation, I have been up before 7 AM every day.. Must be that I am up at 5:30 every day at home. Or maybe the copious amounts of Rum, Beer, etc. nahhhh.

Trolling While sailing

Went to Prickley Pear, and island off the western coast of Anguilla today. Chartered a trip on Lambata, with Aqua Mania Adventures.

Anchor Man

Everything went well, and Aqua Mania Adventures had previously taken us to Saba, on Edge II. They had convinced me to pay for the second Charter, plus the departure taxes, back on July 5th. Good idea.. EXCEPT… They could not find my ticket. I had my receipt, and they put me on the manifest (Good sign that I was actually going to get on the boat), but they kept saying they could not find my ticket.

Sounds like their problem, I kept whispering… Their problem. Finally they got bored of looking, and sent me to get on the boat. The sail was awesome, and much smoother across the open seas, the trip to Tintamarre of previous. I got my hands dirty hoisting sails, since I am a master sailor (meaning my dad was in the navy, and I have watched “Land of the Lost”). The reward was the first rum drink of the day, shared by a crewmate, who oddly enough, refused to drink, since it was 8 AM.

Hoisting the Mainsail

The sail was less than an hour, and we arrived at what had been promised as the best snorkeling around. I’d add the beach rocked too! We snorkeled and saw much more than on St Martin (on either side). After swimming several times with about 6 sting rays, I went in and had lunch. Prickley Pear Breach restaurant (they need a marketing department!). Lunch was baby-back ribs, Mahi, and chicken, all of which were notable, and recommended. This is the only restaurant on the island, and they actually had a drink cabana out on the beach, complete with MY blender. (For those who don’t know, me I own a $600 blender. For those who know me, this is a perfectly normal thing).

The World's Best Blender

At lunch, I met a couple of nice girls, and then their parents. We played a nice game of “Thank God Jon is married because he sucks at guessing ages!” The girls I assumed were late college age turned out to be 19… and 14….. I assured her dad I was just chatting, and my wife got a kick out of it. (I’ll be in the dog house, level three if anyone needs me, haha).

Lambata and Swaglia II in Prickley Pear

Later, I returned to the water for several more hours of snorkeling, both with and without the kids. They are fish, and had a lot of fun, and Ryan even dove time and time again to swim with the Sting Rays.

Seen this Fish?

I saw small barracuda, Tons of species of fish, and even a sea turtle. He was elusive..

Big Mouth Baracuda

The sail home took us back past Le Samana, on Bay Longue, the $1500 a night resort (funny to hear how the locals describe how much this place costs.

Heave, HO!

It got more and more expensive as the weeks went by…. We stopped off the cost there, and dove in the water a bunch, off the side of the 15’ deck.

Remy 15' Jump off the CAT

Ryan and Remy both loved it, and we were in about 14’ of water. The crew popped Champagne, and we floated around on noodles, and drank champagne. Looks like the 22 gallon container of rum punch was getting low, haha.

OOPS, Heaved... When we should have Ho'd

That's Better....

The Ladies have hoisted the Mailsail

Finished at Bay Longue, and sailed back to Kim Sha Beach, or more accurately, the Pelican Resort Marina.

My new Boat

A couple of notes for those who care.
1). The marina building will be done in November 2007. (Island time).
2). The Sample UNIT is not done, except for the outside, and will be within the month. We sat next to this about 4 times, and never noticed it. I’m not sure which views the sample unit blocks, but I didn’t see any. The marina building itself is another story, but I’m staying out of that argument.
3). The units will be 1/12 ownership for $74,000 each. (I am not sure if 1/12 is 30.4166 days, or 4 weeks?) Time-share owners may be able to explain this one.
4). I think I’m the proud owner of three of these. I may be retired.

Walked back to the room, and decided to hang at the pool and the room for a while, since I was blowing .11 and Minda .139 from the Rum.. WOW. No driving for us for a couple of hours. The kids had some more homemade Mac and Cheese, French style. 4 kinds of cheeses, and a box of Kraft. It was excellent, and I highly recommend Kraft plus $10.00 or so of assorted French cheeses..

Feet in Paradise

Later that evening (read when I was at .025), I went out and picked up some of the best Lebanese food we have even had (remembering of course I spent a year in a Lebanese prison camp). Aldywyn just before the bridge, across from Ric’s Place. We had heard this was good, but WOW. $17.00 later, I had double the food we could finish in one takeout meal. Had a grilled Chicken breast on a salad, Lebanese Beef Shaved from the rotis, and an order of Garlic Hummus, complete with grilled pita bread. All of it was cheap, excellent, and the Lebanese “hottie” (her word not mine) made the takeout the best!

Sidebar: more on the Lebanese “hottie.” She kept asking me to go to the club later, the entire time I was ordering she said she’d “meet me there later”, and handed me a card that was to a topless bar nearby. Something deep inside me told me that she wasn’t going to show, even though she showed a particular liking to me, being that I’m double her age.

When I got back, my wife mentioned I was not allowed out anymore.

Rest, sleep slumber…

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July 10th

2006-07-15T14:16:00.000-05:00

July 10th, 2006
Liver - A tasty hangover cure:

A lot of good people lost their jobs today… It was hard to imagine, and harder to have not been there for it. Out company sold recently, and today was the announcement of the restructuring that would include a lot of friends losing their jobs. To all those who help build our company and will not be making the journey forward with us, I’d liked to have been there today, to say thanks for all the memories, and wish that in the name of progress, this wasn’t the only way.

Progress.. It hurts. Now we pick up the pieces, and go forward. 600 where we used to be 1000. good luck all, and I wish I were there today.

We decided to go into Philipsburg again today, and the weather was perfect for it. A bit cloudy, and just a touch of a breeze, that made shopping that much better. Guess what we were shopping for?

A Jewel-encrusted Patek Phillippe watch? Breitling? Not today I fear. Minda found a diamond tennis bracelet, Diamond Broach, and a white Gold 18” Chain after a mere 2 hours, and 5 stores. “This is my first sale of the day, very lucky” “Let me get you my BESTEST best price, ok?” Do you mean as opposed to the other three you have been dragging em along with? Haha,..

You know your personality has worn off onto your kids, when your 8 year old says, “Dad, I know we’re bored, and want this just to be over with, but that’s too much”

The Stresses of Vacation

I think she’s going to be a police negotiator, or a Lawyer… A Lawyer..Oh well, I can always tell people she’s in prison when they ask what she does.

Crepe Shoppe, End of Old Street

Found some internet Access at the Internet Café in Philipsburg, and exchanged emails and sympathy for some of the above named people, affected in our company’s sale. I did not really spend any time looking for free access, as I found plenty for around $3-4 per hour. After catching my wife in a McDonald’s, I managed to escape before anyone saw me. This one unfortunately counted, as they had a fish sandwich while waiting my return. OK, I can’t take the pressure, I ATE A FRECH FRY!!! IT WAS GOOD, settled my recent liver problem, and enabled me to keep drinking.. IT WAS GOOD. I’d do it again! And blast all those tourist who say they don’t.. I LOVED IT!! Best French FRY I HAD ALL WEEK.. now please, please let me be….

(oops, that wasn’t supposed to get written). And now back to our story.

Left Front street, and headed back to Rima’s, to toss down another $150.00. Evidently the first time was not enough, but they did remember us. He smirked and said “We knew you’d be back.”

Went back to Orient beach, and then to MADOUDOU “factory,” where I met back up with the French lady who runs it. She indictated there are 4 painters that do the work, and we managed to drop several hundred dollars. We both sampled, and my SCENT-DOG son managed to identify, coconut, mango, Vanilla, Clove, and many other scents. If anyone needs a perfume-ologist, I have a candidate.

Ended the day with a return trip to BBB, this time to eat and drink. It was so handy to the Pelican resort, and the food was good and fast.

Hermit Crab at BBB

“Attention, You must order from the bar. Attention..” My wife had a dang good cheeseburger, while the kids scarfed up a couple of HUGE hot dog. I had the Caribbean Italian Sausage, which return trippers to the island know of course is an Italian sausage eaten anywhere in the Caribbean. It was also huge, had grilled peppers, and was awesome..

And that’s when I made the mistake. The big mistake.. The kind of mistake you really really only dream about. I found Baron.

Baron. Baron. Baron. Baron was an innocent looking orange sauce on the side of the bar in a small ordinary food service bottle. It looked like a Walmart generic hot sauce.

Sidebar: If you don’t know by now, I love hot things. I lot to eat them, rub them on my face, and generally will eat anything in the world. I am the hot sauce Champion of the World. There exists only two things I cannot eat (and one of those is a planet.. The other? Pure CAP). I grow peppers for fun, and routinely have 10-12 species lingering in the Hot Texas sun. I Floss with them, chew them for heartburn relief, and well, let’s not talk about what I rub on Hemmor$%@.. Ok, over the line there folks..

Baron… Is hot. Really Hot.. Really really really frickin’ hot! Scotch Bonnet peppers in a BUTANE sauce!! I’m not sure if it was sun-drenched lips from being at the beach for 10 days I in a row, but I was burning!! Two beers and multiple glasses of water later (I know I know, Milk is better, but the goats here are ugly!) I was in no better shape.. WOW, that my friends was DAVE’s INSANITY SAUCE hot.

If you don’t know Dave’s just do this. Turn your burner on high, leave for two hours, come back in and press you lips to the burner, and stack a cinder block on the back of your head. Then, tell people you tried Dave’s.

I failed to meet Neil again, but I definitely would have begged a case of Baron’s from him. So, for my loving family, you get no Christmas Hot sauce if we don’t have a good Texas Habanero harvest this year.

At the end of the day, You're another day older!

Next we stumbled back up to the pool until 9 PM.

Sailboat holding up the waning sun

Where I managed to pull my lips out of the pool filter, and wander back to the room, where the nightly 10 second ritual of falling asleep once again reared it’s head!

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July 9th

2006-07-12T21:11:00.000-05:00

July 9th, 2006
You know what I find helps end a Liver hangover?A big, fat chimichanga with extra sour cream and guacamole. ---Oh, no, wait. That’s what makes you puke some more. My bad.

Baie Plum

Woke up early today, and headed out to Baie Plum. Nice beach but overall the sand is harsh. The snorkeling is best we have found, on the far left end of the beach. Had a good time snorkeling with two girls in their early twenties. They decided that clothing was too much, and went out on the rocks to sunbathe. Minda said I enjoyed it, and would love it if they were also … Oops, spoke too soon.

Beach Access to Baie Plum

Beach access to Baie Plum is easy yo find if you know what you are looking for.

Big ole Jet Airliner

Finished up the day by going back to Maho Beach, where Jon fought off the forces of evil.

Evil Plane Lines up to Fight SuperJON

SuperJON Fights off the evil Plane.. Remy runs for cover

Took a couple of pix by the sign, and almost watched Minda turn into a pancake, as a car driving down the WRONG side of the airport road, passed a Scooter doing a wheelie. Note the panie on Jon's fact as minda keeps saying SMILE!

CAR!!! GET OUT OF THE ROAD!!!

Also went to to Baie Rouge, and Simpson Bay. Both nice beaches for a future trip too. We finally saw the drawbridge up, and then going down, which has bveen a daily question from the kids. Translated: “Dan can we sit in traffic on purpose?”.. haha Got pictures though.

Drawbridge UP!

Went to dinner at Pineapple Pete’s. Met the owner and had several occasions to talk to him. Great Service.

Pineapple Pete

Had two waiters, one of which was Max, the nephew of Pete from Australia. He had been in town 10 days, and came to the island to work, and found out his uncles owned the restaurant by applying for a job. They had not met previously, I believe he told me.. WOW Small world. 10,000 miles later and your uncle owns the restaurant you go in for a job.

Great service, the Lobster Thermidor was awesome, and our 6 and 8 year olds were the hit of the evening with surrounding diners, as they hung Large raw onions from their ears.

Remy as a teenager

Ryan and His Onion Earring

They also put on their “Hollywood” Dark sunglasses, and gave their best pose. Nearby diners asked them to keep it up, as they also took pictures. It’s such a shame they are so painfully shy huh.

The Rock Stars of Pineapple Pete's

Minda had Grouper stuffed with crab, and we added a Shrimp Biscue, Shrimp Cocktail. The kids had burgers.. Total Bill was $130 with another very generous add-on tip, as the service was exceptional. Between Max and the other waiter, we also had three visits from Pete, and at least 6 others stop by and touch our table.

I lost a bet to Max, Who turned out to be 18. I guessed 28. Age guessing is not a strong point.

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July 8th - The Real Marigot

2006-07-09T20:51:00.001-05:00

July 8th, 2006

Moved at the pelican today. Much better than last week ,as I met the guy in our new room on a fluke the night before. He let on he was flying out ,and would be vacating early. We were done almost 2 hours faster than last week. I’d still find a place to stay the whole time next time I stay here.

The new room is spotless, in Bougainvillea and has a killer view of both the planes coming in all the way over in Maho, and of the Ocean.

We then went shopping at the Marigot outdoor market, which takes place every Wednesday and Saturday.

Party in Marigot

Frankly, if you have seen the town square in Philipsburg, you have seen what you need to see. The prices are better there. I actually did not buy a thing.

We did however see the Coconut man. He rocked. I drank Cane Juice, pressed in a caner from pure Cane Sugar stalks. The kids liked watching that. I had done that as a kids in Key West, and it brought back fond memories.

Coconuts and Sugar Cane

The kids drank a coconut shake, made from fresh coconut milk. He pointed out the Anguilla Ferry system, ad gave me some insight into going there Monday.

We were able to find easy parking after waiting less than 30 seconds in front of the West Indies mall area. Parking on this island is nowhere near as hard as many had me imagining. If you live in any big city, it’s harder there. Haha. West Indies Mall is a nice design, and I took a couple of pictures of it, but it’s just a regular mall, so I’d not burn any vacation time in it.

West Indies, Marigot

Ordered some killer Panini’s (French roasted sandwiches, pressed in a George Forman style grill, till they look like burritos) at a roadside grill near the Marigot harbor.

Chillin' at the Panini Bar

We skipped climbing the Fort St Louis, Saw Baie De Potence in Marigot. Nice but did not swim. Current are supposed to be bad here.

Went to Friar’s Bay and started to Happy Bay, but gave up and headed to orient, as Friar’s Stinks! I mean, it stinks! Like poo poo (Can I use that term here?)..

Spent a long day at Orient, and Jon took a walk down to Club O.

Jon on Orient Beach

Yes, I did, Yes It was the second time, Yes I Liked it, No I am not answering more questions. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, skip that and read on.

Beaker, our Travel Gnome, Nake on Orient Beach

Went home by way of Oyster pond, and saw some excellent Wind Gliders (Think giant kite dragging a snowboard with less clothing) on Corilita Beach area. Stopped for a moment, but light was waning.

Got home and made some home made Mac and Cheese, French style. 4 kinds of cheeses, and a box of Kraft. It was excellent, and I highly recommend Kraft plus $10.00 or so of assorted French cheeses.. Oh yeah, the last of a bottle of rum the previous tenant gave us, as they could not fit it in their suitcase as they left this morning.

Cheers.. Bracing myself, as I am dropping my wife and my Platinum card in Philipsburg for Jewelry shopping, and taking the kids to the beach.

Mental note, call Credit Card Company and lower that $100K Credit Limit fast! Or Get to casino tonight…

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July 7th - Golden Eagle Charter

2006-07-09T20:51:00.000-05:00

July 7th, 2006
Screw my Liver - as long as my onions remain intact, I think I’ll be OK.

Woke up early and had the last of the 4 cheese pastries from LE Sucherie, which were reheated in the oven and back to their blissful self in 10 minutes! Yuummmyy! We chartered Golden Eagle today, a 74’ X 34’ Catamaran, to sail us basically around the entire island in a circle.

Golden Eagle Sailing

Debbie with Golden Eagle arranged it, assured us we’d have a great time with the kids, and even arranged transportation to and form the boat.

The boat itself was excellent, and we met up with some of our closest friends, we didn’t know yet. The boat went out and headed to our first stop, Tintamarre (Flat) Island.

Jon and Kids in Tintamarre

The sail from Bobby’s Marina to Tintamarre was about an hour, and was the roughest sail we saw, and our family did fine (I think I’m training some sailors).

Bobby's Marina

However, we did have 5 contestants in the “NAME THAT BREAKFAST” contest. Cool water on the back of the neck, sitting backwards at the back of the boat, resting quietly, and breathing deeply while staring at things FAR away makes throwing up in the Caribbean a really pleasant experience. Evidently. Unfortunately I passed, as did the family.

The Mud Baths - (Rest of Pix Censored)

Tintamarre has a great beach but is mostly known for its MUD, which hides about 50’ off the beach. Our guide ran back and got a huge bucket, and we proceed to get a SPA-like mud bath for the low low cost of the charter… There were about 30 people on the beach doing the same, and we had a blast. Letting the mud dry, it was like a MASK, and I spent the better part of the afternoon singing “I feel Pretty, Oh so Pretty….. “

P.S. I’m not allowed back on Tintamarre..

We left Tintamarre, and headed around the tip of the island, where I got to shoot pictures of the Dump on fire (important to Ryan, who had never seen a dump on fire), Wilderness beach, Petite Cayes, and the infamous Duck’s Beach, which I attempted to hike to last week. Ducks’ is small, but would have been a grand trophy. Maybe next time I get a kayak from Anse Marcel.

Westin Construction

We rounded the point and headed into Creole rock, and Grand Case. Creole rock was great snorkeling, and we yielded probably 50+ species of fish in the first 5 minutes. Needle Gar, and Jelly Fish were the best of the viewing.

Creole Rock

The water here, despite being offshore, is calm enough the kids snorkeled nearby, and I didn’t feel I had to hold hands all the time. There is no current here, and this is the best snorkeling we have seen. I understand you can get boats out from Grand Case to do this too.

Ryan 15' Jump off boat

In the free diving competition, the crew of the boat marveled as I showed off my Superior technique. Not realizing how deep the water was, I dove and picked up a bandana that was polluting the reef.

Sidebar: Lest anyone think I have gone environmental, I thought it was a wallet, and immediately after clearing the litter, I drilled for oil in the same location, ate a dolphin, and cut down the nearest tree for sport.

Later as one of our group was returning to the boat, she dropped a fin, and it had this nasty little trick. In the islands the expression is “IT SANK”. My Navy Seal training sprung into action, and after equalizing three times on the way down, (which any diver good at making up stats on the spot will tell you that’s about 38 feet).

I picked it up and returned it to the cheering of the owner. Only after accepting the kudos and cheer of the fact that Chivalry was NOT Dead after all, only being held in a hotel in New Jersey) did the crew tell me I was diving at about 40’, according to the Anchor Chain and Line.

I immediately decided the next water I was going to wrestle was in the frozen form, and returned to kick the crap out of a rum bottle! Thanks Diana, for my inability to spell tonight.

We pulled away form Creole Rock, went to Grand Case, and stopped at Calmos Café. A great restaurant that provides it’s diners with chairs, etc. About 30 of us pulled in on boats the same time, and they took good care of us.

Golden Eagle in Grand Case

I ate grilled Mahi-Mahi and Creole rice, which blistered my lips, when I added enough of the Creole oil provided on the table. Good food. Remy ate fish and Ryan chicken. Minda had the Vegetarian plate, just for variety. We all shared and everything was good, including Salad before and a chocolate desert after.

The beach here is absolutely gorgeous and well worth a trip. From TTOL, I learned that every Sunday Calmos Café has a live Reggae band playing on the beach. Very French on the beach side, and all 100+ patrons gathered under the area we were in when a Caribbean Storm passed through.

Caribbean Storm: Noun.. A quick downpour, leaving everything cooler, wetter and the patrons asking, “Did it rain” because the brevity. Note, eating your lunch while 25 topless sunbathers huddle next to you during the time it’s raining is something everyone should try. However, that didn’t happen today. Oh well.

Returned to the cat after a quick swim, and began the rest of our journey. On the back side of the island, we ran with motor and sail to outrun the cloudburst, and were mostly successful. Got to Bay Rouge, and around Plum Bay, to see the beaches we are trying tomorrow or the next day. Next stop was LA SAMANNA, where were moored out 300 feet or so from the shore. I dropped my fins on, and “Noodled” Remy and Ryan to Shore, after jumping off the top of the cat 15’ or so into the water. They loved that, and had not fear jumping that far. The three of us spent about 30 minutes running around the beach at LA SAMANNA, and returned by way of Dad’s fins.

The rest of the sail was restful, and was spent mostly trying to kill off the Dianabugs and the RumBugs. Diana was the bar tender, and RumBugs come in glasses. I like her…

My New House

Got back to the Docks, after passing the rest of the beaches, and tacking Briefly to “MOON” the “Lambata” as it passed, then again as we circled it. Believe it or not, I kept my clothes on. (People at work won’t believe this I’m sure). Saw a couple of planes come in on Maho, and finished the sail at Bobby’s marina, a mere 8 hours after our tirp began.

For the money, this was some of the best money spent so far. I’m completely spent, exhausted, happy, and had a ride there and back to milk off the Rum.

The Pelican Resort

After we got dropped at the Pelican Resort, I hung out a while downloading pictures, and writing a bit, then Decided it was time to test the alcohol meter, and go get some dinner. My trusty Alcohol Hawk told me I was legal, even here, and I went to get some ribs, for the Bijillionith time since we got here.

Tonight it was back to Johnny B’s Under The TREE. Johnny was indeed under the tree tonight , and offered a $25 grille Lobster to start. I passed and got three racks of Baby-back ribs (He also does Babies, for those of you following the Baby versus Louis score card).

Johnny B's Grilled Lobster

After leaving his place I laughed because the lady helping me told me “I couldn’t remember if you wanted Rice and Beans or potato Salad, so I gave you all three.” I was afraid what the other one was… haha..

So, the head to head winner of best ribs so far is:

Lido’s for better ribs, and better sauce.

Lido's

Not that Johnny B’s Under the tree wasn’t great, but his sauce was not as good as Lido’s. Lido’s potatoes are Scallopped, as opposed to Potato Salad at Johnny B’s. Lido’s gets the nod there from Minda.

It’s 10 PM, and the kids have crashed, and I have set a world’s record. We have been here 7 days, and I have yet to set foot in a casino which by the way is 100 yards from here. WOW. (See the Great Vegas Caper of ’05).

Goodnight, and Sleep well. We will.

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July 6th - Back to the beach

2006-07-09T20:50:00.000-05:00

July 6th, 2006
Dude, the liver is a government conspiracy, like Indiana. Have you ever seen your liver?

Woke up early and Hit Pastries from Le Sucriere. They rocked, and I ended up getting both Sweet and non-sweet ones. Le Sucriere is the home of the French bakery downstairs, and the Slender Spa upstairs. I think they should switch places, as every calorie counts here. Bought Coconut Macaroons, and French Brest Almond Crème Pastries (insert body-part joke here). Stopped by McDonald’s for free WIFI, but it doesn’t count as I only had a coke! Updated blog and sent a trip report to TTOL.

We decided to go to Cupecoy, home of what was once heralded as the best beach in the Carribean.

Cupecoy Cliffs

At the risk of getting flamed, I thought it was pretty, but anyone who thinks it’s in the top ten, should see Megan’s Bay, USVI, Jost Van Dyke, Foxy’s under the tree, or Soggy Dollar bar, The Baths, Virgin Gorda, BVI, Trunk, or any beach on the north side of St John, USVI, or for that matter 7 mile beach in Grand Cayman.

Cupecoy Cliffs 2

Back to our story. Cupecoy had “a lot” of sand according to visitors. It’s my first visit, so I could not compare.

Cupecoy Cliffs 3

I liked the beach until the 13th person showed up, about 2 hours after we arrived, and we decided to set out to Braie Longue. The toplessness/nudity at Cupecoy was no problem, but with the size of the beach, we felt we were sharing it too much. That, combined with no less than 20-25 people sitting up at the top of the hill, just enjoying the day, made us feel claustrophobic. We did meet Danny, and although we were self sufficient with cooler, chairs, etc. He was nice and we chatted a bit. We didn’t stay long enough to eat, but he offered. Nice guy, and he watched our car, which was unlocked and empty.

Sidebar: I find it interesting that with all the crime relating to car break-ins, that the lady selling t-shirts had her entire inventory covered in the back of her pick-up truck, in about 8 suitcases, and covered poorly with a blanket. It brings up the obvious question of who is doing the break-ins.

Anyway, we decided to move on, and drove through Maho, Easily spotting Cheri’s, Atlantis, Temptation and Rare, all places we’ll probably hit next week. Missed the beach access to Mullet Bay Beach, and entered Terre Bases, and immediately realized why I would not be caught dead there after dark. Regardless of what anyone might say, I’d not travel there after dark, simply because it’s too dark, too remote, and way to easy to block the road around a blind curve. I’m sure it’s nice, but not for me.. AT NIGHT. I had no problem during the day, and found the entrance to Baie Longue just before Villa #77 (The Owl’s Nest).

Minda at Baie Longue

Note: For those people who do not live where beach access is dictated by law, you may pass a lot of entrances here. While unloading the car, no less than 4 cars stopped to ask how to get to the beach. Beach access is typically cut between two properties, and rarely marked. If you live in California, etc, you will recognize these easily. Best directions to Baie Longue? Head down the street past Maho, go through golf course of Mullit, look for sign that says LA SAMANNA hotel. Turn left there and go to the Gated part of LA SAMANNA. Just before the guard asks you, hang a quick RIGHT down that road, and go several hundred yards to the first palce you can park on the left. You see the beach access I describe above, and it’s just Before “THE OWL’S NEST (Villa #77).

2 Beers, Nice Bag

Once you get these numbers down, finding Plum Bay is easy. Keep following that road around until you get just past Villa 42A. Beach access is on the left, between two fences, on a path covered over the top with Sea Grape.

Wow, enough boring directions. We went to Plum bay just long enough to see we wanted to come back later. On Bay Longue, we snorkled, and spent almost the entire day in the water. Note that the wind and a 1-2 mph current AWAY from LA Samanna makes this an advanced beach. I snorkled about ¼ mile at a time, holding hands with my 6 or 8 year old, then exiting and walking back. They could not safely swim the current back. Not dangerous, but we did send an errant intertube to SABA. Remy fell of, swam once to it, and the wind pulled it away from her, about 5 ffet away., By the time she took another stroke, it was 10’ away. I told her to leave it and exit the water, took two strokes toward it, and lost another ten feet. In less than 10 minutes, it disappeared over the horizon. WOW!

Would not take the littlest ones to this beach, unless I was RIGHT against the hotel. I felt fine otherwise, as I simply positioned myself between them and the down-current side. It was not bad really. Other than the lost intertube, it was not as dramitc as long as you understand what you have..

The beach itself was deserted.. Let me explain deserted. We had 2 people on the beach, and 2 pass our spot, in the 5-6 hours we were there. On a beach over a mile long. WOW.

Came home and cleaned up, then went to BBB and met the TTOL gang. There must have been 4-50 people if I counted right. Thanks Neil for your hospitality (for the fourth time this week, I have missed you at the bar). Met BeachBum, Larry, Bill and Laurie and talked to Lynda and Bob again, as we met them a couple times this week. Deepest apologies to all that I spoke with, but forgot names, as frankly, I’m drunk as I type.. Haha.

TTOL Party 1

Pizza’s provided, 2 for 1 Carib, and a great time was had by all. It was great to meet everyone. Came home and ate, and drifted off quickly. I wonder what’s in the air here, We seem to be doing that a lot.

Sunset at TTOL Party

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July 5th - Saba

2006-07-09T20:49:00.000-05:00

July 5th, 2006
Livers are evil, and must be punished

Traveled on the Edge II to Saba today. For those who don’t know, Saba is a small 4 miles by 2 mile island that is 26 miles off the coast of St Martin. No real reason to exist, except that a volcano reared it’s ugly head some 25,000 years ago.

Saba - first Look

Luckily, it’s been dormant since, and was polite enough to stay that way during our visit. There are 6,500 residents, and I hear only about 2000 people visit there each year. It’s supposed to be the best diving around. It’s also a rain forest, and a great place to hike. We weren’t diving this trip.

The Unspoiled Queen

I discovered Saba when I was Googling around, looking for a great vacation. I knew that I could find a place, and go back later. I ran across Living.Yourcarribeandream.com, home of Heather and Joel, whom I emailed and read about on their site. Unfortunately they are traveling to the states, so on this trip, I missed meeting them in person. I tried my best to clean up after ourselves, and sorry about the broken glass Heather and Joel.. haha..

Jon, Remy and Ryan in Saba

Anyway, traveling on the Edge II, commonly known as the “Vomit Cat”, was an experience, but frankly not any worse than open sea travel.. Let me tell you the most important things I learned.

1). Sit on the STARBOARD side on the way to SABA
2). Sit on the PORT side on the way BACK to St Martin.

Why you ask? Simple physics. I’ll try to explain.

Water splashes the CRAP out of those NOT on the side mentioned above.

Hopefully that discussion was not too technical. People on the sides mentioned above had their windows FULLY-OPENED the entire trip. People on the other side (Like me), had their FULLY-OPENED, until the first BIG wave dumped several hundred gallons in the window… I liked it, but was in shorts.

Things, I leaned today,, part two. My wife does not like BONINE, and would rather be puking if necessary, than drowsy, which it did!

More things I learned today. Dramamine dissolves in water for a child who cannot (despite shoveling entire chunks of fully chokable hot dogs into her mouth) cannot swallow a pill.

Jon in Saba

We arrived in Saba, supposed to be meeting Garvis, set up by the Director of Tourism himself, Glen Holm. Garvis was nowhere to be found, but I ran into Manny, and explained my situation, who agreed to take me up to the bottom (don’t ask). Manny did so, free of charge, and got a hold of Garvis, who was going to meet us 2.5 hours later than scheduled. Shame on him, even on island time, that was bad.

Mt Scenery Rain Forest

We hiked the first part of Mount Scenery, the tallest point on the island, and something like 1000 steps. Time permitted about the first 250, my heart, 175, liver was left about 112, etc.

Kids Climbing Mt Scenery

Conclusion… I’m not the Navy Seal I used to be, and Turkish prisons have nothing on making someone march up that hill! Had a good lunch at Scout’s place, with Indian Samosa’s, little puff pastries stuffed with spicy curried hummus, and fried, then dipped in a fruit sauce. YUM!

Scout’s had a pool, but we didn’t have time. This brings up a quick conclusion to this part of the day. Fly to Saba. Stay a couple of days. It’s the only way to do it justice. I think I’d never do a cruise. I felt like I left a lot of desire on that island, and for a 1.5 hour boat ride each way, followed by Garvis being 2.5 hours late, and another 1.5 hours home… Know what I mean?

Saba "Road That Could Not Be Built"

Having said that, Saba rocked! IT was beautiful, and we went to Jo Bean’s Glass shop, and spent 30 minutes there, mostly because Garvis got a fare from the there, to the Bottom, to the airport. He dropped us there, and left for 20-30 minutes.

Shortest commercial runway in the world

Garvis was a really nice guy, and knows tons about the island, and even showed us his home, but I would have paid whatever it took to get his undivided attention. I thought I made that clear, but oh well!

Loved the bueaty of Saba, and would come back. I wonder what an open ticket through SXM to Saba and Back to SXM for two weeks would run. That’s how I’d do it next time.

Came back and ate French-style pizza. Pizza Galley, and Thin-crust pizza place next to Lady C’s floating bar was excellent. We ordered three, and had the equivilant of one full one left over. Stepped across to the floating bar (which did not go out on the harbor this night), and drank while the pizza was cooking. Four-Cheese pizza was best, followed closely by a thin-crust Basil-tomoato margarheta pizza. The Pepperoni, smoked Sausge one is good to.

The Kids at Lady C Floating Bar

Crashed and burned fast!

Sunset at the Pelican
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July 4th - Happy independence day.

2006-07-06T07:45:00.000-05:00

July 4th, 2006

Happy 4th of July, Can you pick up my liver for me?

We had a nice quiet day today. Drove through Cole Bay today. Between the rocky beach, no sand, and the proximity of the Desalination plant and Fuel Farm, I’d see no reason to visit this. Probably the same for CAY Bay, which we saw form the Crazy Religious person overlook.

Stopped at Divi Resort at little bay. My initial observations are that the resort is nice, but the Pelican is nicer. The pools at Divi are small. The beach was fine, but my wife said she’d rather go back to Orient beach next week, when we had slated to go to Little Bay Beach. I agree.

Fort Amsterdam

Remy is reading this blah blah blah. I have to be careful what I write. We climbed Ft. Amsterdam. This Dutch side fort is still in very good condition. The kids also liked this. I’d recommend it to anyone. Looks like you can park anywhere, including by the SHIPWRECK Shop, and walk toward to the hill. As you aim for the FORT AMSTERDAM buildings, you’ll see a dirt “road” to the right of them. It’s self-explanatory after that.

After that, we traveld back to Philipsburg, and found parking in the $1.00 per hour lot. Here’s how to do it. Enter the lot on the south side, through the booth that says “EXIT.” Remarkably enough, there is no “Entrance.” This is the easy part. The parking lot is plit into three parts, left, middle and right, and they don’t connect. Keep in mind I’m talking 30-40 cars in each row. I sat at the beginning of the middle row, and waited for someone to pay and move from there. There was good turnaround, and at 10 AM, in ten minutes, my parking troubles were solved. Other than that, my only other plan for parking would be a casino and Valet. Although I did not see any of those.

Philipsburg was great. My kids and I spent about ½ hour talking with Nick Maley, AKA the “Yoda Guy” and we ended up buying 4 original paintings. He currently has TWO studios, One next to Pasgarahan Guest Hotel, where he spends most time, and one on “OLD STREET” down front street.

Meeting Nick Maley

Went in “Last Mango in Paradise” My only observation is that for all the money I sent Jimmy Buffett over the years, the Christmas card he sent out in 1998 sucked. I’d take better pictures! As a matter of fact Jimmy, call me.

Last Mango in Paradise

Stopped by “Shopper’s Paradise, outside “Old Street” which is the store of snoopy_leogirl,

Who was very helpful on Cruisecritic.com. Didn’t get to meet her, but bought some stuff. I visited the Holland House Hotel, and the Pasgarahan Guest hotel. Both are nice, but I am glad I’m at the Pelican versus them, especially with kids.

Spent some time at Great bay beach, behind Holland House Hotel. It’s a nice beach, but even with one ship in town, I’d not make a point of going there. If I were staying in Philipsburg, it would be a suitable beach.

Carib on Front Street

Saw the SEGWAY vendor, and skipped it since I have done them in the Woodlands at home. If you have never ridden a SEGWAY, I’d highly recommend this while you are here.

Went to the finest Belgain chocolate store on "Old Street."

The Finest Belgian Chocolates

Tasted about 12 different Guavaberry products, mostly thought they were fiar. Looking forward to going back to MADOUDOU though. Did manage to choke down two Guavaberry Coladas, in addition to the cooler of Carib that was glued to my shoulder for the day.

Minda in "Upscale" Clothing Shop

Tacky tourist t-shirts are 4 for $10 in the area near the courthouse. We spent some there, and went one our way, much to the glee of a person wanting our parking place.

Went to Guy’s Driftwood Beach Bar, across the beach from SSBB. I have to say that they are much more friendly, and gave us chairs to sit on on the beach, for the Price of a $1.50 Carib. Took some more video of planes coming and going, and acted like a complete idiot when a 747 geared up and blew me and Ryan away!

Worst intersection in St Martin

Found several of the Cigar places I have seen discussed here, and frankly was shocked by the prices. $35 for a type of Cohiba I know for a fact my uncle has smoked in Hong Kong for $12 U.S. at a five Star place. For the most part, Cigars seemed to be 300% overpriced. Sure I’ll get flamed on this one, but $35.00 for Monte Cristo, Romeo and Juliett, and Cohiba is a bit high.

Highly recommend it if you have never! The doctor says the skin grafts will heal much faster than my liver! Haha..

Back to the Pelican, and an 8:30 bedtime tonight. Home cooked Carribean Pasta with Garlic encrusted French bread, has left us in a food coma. Off to Saba tomorrow.

Until then!
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END OF DAY _____________________________________________________________________________________

July 3rd

2006-07-06T07:44:00.000-05:00

Jul 3rd, 2006
Liver - It was always trying to keep you sober anyway.

What sucks? Sharing BBQ Flavored Cheezits on the way home form the beach.
What doesn’t? Eating Lido’s twice in a row!

Woke up early again today and Checked out ZEE BEST for Pastries. $2 each fruit tarts that are very French, very good, and going to be on the menu for a while.

I went to the Business center next to Jimbo’s for internet access today. I know it’s a sin, but wanted to make sure the deal actually closed on selling the company. It did.

Today is the day for adventure. Mt intention is to Find Anse Marcel.

Ryan at Anse Marcel

A resort area recently bought by the Raddison, and due for a $650,000,000 renovation. Founds Anse Marcel without issue after a 10-15 minute drive, including a traffic jam in Marigot

(Helocoptor noises in background)…. Whop Whop Whop Whop Whop Whop
Bob, it looks like we have a stalled out dog in the left lane in downtown Marigot, with the Lookie Lou’ers slowing down eastbound traffic.

Oh Wait, the dog moved, and now we have flow again. Bobby Joe and Ziggy are going in opposite directions on the main road, have stopped in opposite lanes to talk, and all Traffic has now come to a complete standstill. Remarkably enough, noone is honking, and both participants are still alive. Not Like Houston here Bob.
Whop Whop Whop Whop Whop Whop Noises fade.

Kids at Anse Marcel

Arrived in Grand Case in no time, and drove on to French Cul-De-Sac, which for those of you who count, is NOT a Cul-De-Sac at all, much more like a lane. Got to the sign that says Anse Marcel, and took it as a sign we needed to turn.

Sidebar:
For all that I thought that finding MADouDou would be hard, it’s this simple. Go into Cul-De-Sac, and turn RIGHT at the same area that there is a LEFT turn to Anse Marcel. More on this later.

The Radisson has done a remarkable job at putting up signs that say “Coming soon” and blocking off perfectly good parking area that are not being worked on. We arrived, and for those who care or remember, we intended to start at Anse Marcel, and go on to Duck’s bay, previously discussed on TTOL.

Well, let me mention, that Land access to Duck’s beach, while potential possible, is WAY outside the ability of my kids, and without ropes, is also outside the ability of a season Advanced climber and Scrambler. About ½ way through the day, I decided to make a pitch to Duck’s beach, about 2/3 of a mile around from the left-most point of Anse Marcel, as you look to the ocean. I got all the way to the end of the point, with only advanced scrambling, nothing I was nervous to do alone. As soon as I hit the point, I knew I’d not being seeing Duck’s beach that way.

I considered hijacking a Dinghy form the marina, (which would have been the third one in three days), but decided not to push the point. Went back and had a great day on Anse Marcel.

Did I mention as we unloaded and moved our 10,000 items from the car (Which we have not yet locked and have not left a single thing in!), that we had a perfectly great cooler full of Carib, Grolsch, and Egg Salad for Sandwiches witting on the counter at the Pelican?

Why? Noone knows.. haha.. Refusing to drive back, I decided since it had blue-ice on it, it would live there, and we’d try hard to survive. For those who have not taken any survival training, It’s about Environment, Shelter, Water, and Food. Since it was 85 and sunny, We Skipped Environment and went straight to shelter. Oh wait, there was a built-in cover too. That left food and water.

I set out to the marina area to replace our cooler contents. Keep in mind we were desperate, starving, dying of thirst, and had been exposed to the harsh harsh elements for nearly 15 minutes! I almost feel bad for what I am about to describe.

I walked into the marina store, and told the lady I had left the cooler behind, described my personal affection for beer, and the dilemma I was in. She said “Don’t worry; we have a stranded tourist special.” She proceeded to unload a Presidente box, and re-loaded it with a 6-pack of Carib, 2 Ting, a Red Bull, and a gallon of Evian. She charged me $12, included the box, and told me to see the Harbormaster, and the Italian girl in the Restaurant next door. I went over to the harbormaster, who added ice, then to the restaurant, and the girl made me two ten-inch sandwiches, after I explained I was a stranded tourist. These proved to be the best I’ve ever had.

Let me tell you, this was way better than the Eatzi’s-type to die-for sandwiches I can get near my office. Two ten inch French Baguettes, slightly crispy, with Genoa Ham, Gorgonzola Cheeze, with an olive oil drizzle, and Smoked Artichoke Hearts, Red Bell Peppers, and a drizzle of MADOUDOU hot sauce. I am going to be stranded several more times before I leave!

I had two offers to go boating for the day before I left, as I seemed to be entertaining some people! Haha.

The water at Anse Marcel was perfectly calm, The area has minor a couple of topless sunbathers, but nothing anyone objected to. Snorkling was perfect as far as teaching, but sandy bottom and not much to see. Remy and I went out about 200 yards, while mom and Ryan entertained themselves near shore.

Later, Ryan and I went through the Raddison property and went to the marina to check out boats. They are WAY further away from opening in November. It will be a great property though. Saw a boat form Houston, and talked to a couple of people in the marina!

Having put up with this for the better part of the day, we decided we had enough, and ventured into Grand Case, after a quick stop at MADOUDOU, discovered early in the day.

Met the lady who runs MADOUDOU, but she was locking up to go make a delivery. She offered to reopen and get me whatever I wanted, and I said “Eh Maybe tomorrow, I’m here for a while.” She laughed and told me that was the spirit, and I have “Blended in to the island” I take it that’s a good thing!

The really fun part, was that we left there behind her, and followed her along the road to Grand Case, where we were heading, and she was delivering. I jumped out, approached her, and asked “Do I know you from somewhere?” Does anyone know the French word for Stalking? Haha..

Saw several hotels for a future Business trip I was tasked in checking. Le Esplanade looks the best, and is way cheaper than La Samanna (Thanks Ed from TTOL).

Hotels we visited 1

Hotels we visited 2

Hotels We Visited 3

We headed back to Pelican for Dinner, which would be Gourmet Italian, inside. Then we stopped at French-side Marche Supermarket, which IS French, all the way down to the fact that most people don’t speak English in it. Mom went home, showered up and cooked, and I took the Kids out to Buccaneer Beach bar (oops, I mean Kim Sha Beach). This place rocks! I knew Neil did a great job, but this is the ultimate Beach bar, complete with complimentary chairs and Umbrellas. Did not get to meet Neil, but I am sure I will on the TTOL party on the 6th.

The Pelican Marina Building

Dinner, and early to bed tonight. I think I’ll sneak out to the casino when wife falls asleep.

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July 2nd - First boat!

2006-07-03T07:55:00.000-05:00

Jul 2nd, 2006
My Liver – Think of it this way, now that the little crybaby is out of the way there is nothing between your stomach and sweet, sweet alcohol –

Well What a day. How many days start with a quick trip to the beach, and end with your wife Blowing a .117? The good news is, we walked home, and the Breathalazyzer was our, not a cops! I was only at .079 for the record. $90 and a trip to AlcholHawk is the best investment in the world.

Woke up at 6 AM this morning. Something tells me that that is not as bad as when you are at home. Got some beautiful eggs going and fed the kids. I only say Beautiful, as the best cheese in the world is made by the French and the Dutch, and this island is owned by both. Before you Guatemalan BAS$%$#rds write me about how good your cheese is… Bite me…

P.S. Minda just fell into the wall trying to walk into the other room with a Can of “Salsa Verde Pringles”. That’s a story in itself? Maybe another day..

We went to Orient Beach today, and loved it. We camped just down form Bikini Beach, just far enough away from the Bikini Beach bar to be there by ourselves. Kids played, mom gelled, and dad took a long walk to the Club Orient side of the beach.

Minda on Orient Beach

I’d say thumbs up on the whole Orient Beach Thing. HOWEVER, I bet we find less crowded beaches. This was a no cruise ship day, and I bet with 5-6 cruise ships, it would be really crowded. We’ll try Bay Longue or Bay Rouge next week.

After Orient beach, we headed to the Gallion Beach, known for Protected bays and snorkeling. However, we never made it, as we met Pete of the Butterfly Pavillion.

Butterfly Sex

Pete gave us a private tour, since we were the only ones around, and about 100 pictures later, we had a great time. If you have never seen a lady feed spit to a newborn baby chick from her mouth, I don’t recommend it. IT was freaky. We spent about 2 hours at the butterfly pavilion, and may actually stop back in later before we leave. As we left there and arrived at Le Gallion, the Skies opened up in a 5 minute Caribbean storm. We decided that we had plenty of sun for the day, and made the 15 minute trip back to Pelican. Times quoted on TTOL certainly don’t hold for this time of year, and traffic is NOTHING like the Virgin Islands. We took 15 minutes from Orient to Pelican, and drove through rain. I’d hate to be here “In” season.

So, we got back to our resort, and decided since we had a hour to kill, we’d go to seek WIFI, and food. After a great experience at Lido’s last night, we decided to put “Johnny B’s under the Tree” to a test. I left the family at the resort, and went out to find it. The lady at Lido’s recognized me, and waved me over as I drove by. She asked how I liked the ribs form last night, and was I coming back. WOW. That amazed me. I told her we had other plans, but we’d definitely be back

SIDEBAR:
For those who don’t know the difference between baby-back and St. Louis Style ribs, Lido’s Serves Baby-Back. This is important information to those who care.

Back to our story:

I drove past Lido’s nmad found Johny B’s Under the tree. Unfortunately, being Sunday, Johnny was not planning on working. The following is a true story. I promise.

As, I entered the parking lot (all 20 Sq FT of it), a young girl of 10 or so mouthed “Johnny not here tonight” form 10’ away or so. Not noticing they were closed (meaning the “cooler” was not there), I rolled down the window to discuss it with her. She was so nice and at ten years old was so carefree, so typical islands, it amazing me when she robbed me…

OK, Just Kidding. I shot her first.

Anyway, she told me she thought Johnny was not coming tonight, and she would check for me.

“KATE!” She yelled, and the lady inside answered. “There’s a manawho wants dinner, Is Johnny coming tonight?”

“Kate” yelled that he was not, but was the “man” still here.. The girl replied that I was, and Kate yelled back, “You tell him to wait, I’ll go tell Johnny, and he’ll share his dinner with him..

That rocked. In a nutshell, the entire restaurant industry take notes. I of course declined, but was interested to note that Johnny lived within a couple hundred yards of there. I may drop in on him later in the week. I’ll definitely see his restaurant again.

So, I turned around and got Lido’s again. It was thumbs up on the meal for the second night in a row (Third for Remy who also had ribs at Jimbo’s on Friday). We orded Three Ribs combos for the four of us, with Potatoes as a side. We had Rice and Mac and Cheese left over from the previous night. $21 and three full racks and 12 pounds of Potatoes later, I was well on the way to overstuffed.

Tango/Lambata at Sunset

We had about 14 minutes before the 5 MP Sunday cruise out of the Pelican on the Tango. This simply put is the best money spent on the island. It’s the equivalent of a “booze Cruise” for $10 per person. I think I finished a bunch of Rums, but am still looking for my liver to ask. Please see Blood alcohol content readings above, and note they are two hours later!

Remy sailing

Ryan Sailing

If you have not noticed, I am a bit obsessed. Wanna know why? We were on the boat, with 50+ people, and Jim E. form TTOL came up to Minda, and said “Where are you from?” She chatted, and he mentioned that we fit the profile of Jon Joslin from TTOL. She laughed and pointed me out across the deck, and said that would be me.

It was nice to meet Jim, and funny that he noticed that we “Fit the profile” from the TTOL site. Spooky! Hope to meet up with him again on the 6th.

Had a great sail, great sunset, and ended up the day at BOTH the beach and the Pool. Kids compromised when they could not decide which to do, so we did both. Met some great people from Fort Worth area, who offered more beer, and we wisely declined.

La Samanna

Goodnight from the island, and here’s to doing it tomorrow. P.S. Thank God for Coppertone Babies SPF50 Sunscreen.

P.P.S. There are not many better ways of ending a perfect day in paradise, than with and iced cold “Ponche Kuba”

I have but one regret this trip so far. I missed the “Festival of the Best RAM” in Colombier area of the island today. Where local party, vote the best RAM on the Island, and eat goat dishes all day.. Somehow, I just missed it. Would have been fun..

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July 1st - WOW!

2006-07-03T07:54:00.000-05:00

July 1st, 2006
Sure, it’s all fun until someone puts a liver out…

The Pelican. Changing rooms took WAAAY longer than advertised. At 9 AM they knocked on the door and gave us new room keys. However, the new room guys did not get their keys until 11 AM. We were told that after 10 AM, we were charged to be in the room. So for an hour, imagine if you will, a bunch of cranky kids sitting in the Caribbean sun.. OK, so it’s WAYY better than any day back home. Next time I come here (note that), I’ll be staying somewhere I can stay in the same place the entire stay. Plan ½ day for switches. Next time, I send the family to the beach, while I do the switch.

Our first destination, since it got to be NOON, was the Sunset Beach Bar, on Maho bay, where the lowest approach airplanes I have ever seen. I took a lot of video, and had a quick split lunch. Splitting is both good for portion control, and the fact that like others, I am a little outraged at the prices. Let’s see, I can stomach $8 Certified Angus Triple Cheeseburger, but if I do my math right, I paid $16 for two of them, plus 4 sodas came out to $21 (Is that $1.50 a drink?). OK, so far so good, but when I got a refill on the Coke, she said $3. I said “You charge for refills?” She replied they did, and I said Is it too late to get TWO of the $1.25 drinks instead. She just rolled her eyes on went on.

Mental Note, Next trip will be to “Guy’s Driftwood Beach Bar”. Everything I read about this makes it look like a better deal, and despite what I read on TTOL, it’s only 150 yards from SSBB. I’ll check it out and report.

The Kids LOVED playing on the beach, and I got some cool pictures of Ryan SCREAMING at the top of his lungs as a 747 flew 60 feet above his head. It’s really not to be believed.

Jon and Minda at Sunset Beach Bar

SSBB does play the air traffic control channel though, that part is cool!

Big Plane

Image from Jetphotos.net, copywright James Rowson

After that, we headed out to Cole Bay overlook.

Cole Bay People

Can you believe that Remy and mom did NOT want to get out of the car at the Cole Bay Overlook. Ryan and Dad had a couple of minutes of Dad and son time to look at the Simpson bay overlook. WOW, Are the Crazy religious people odd. See our Pictures.

Next we headed into Philipsburg. Dad seems like he knows how to drive this island, at least until it comes time to go back OUT of Philipsburg. We went into Philipsburg, and drove Front street, as there were no cruise ships in. We didn’t stop today. We’ll go back. Our destination today was Rima’s, the store that seems to retail at Wholesale prices. Having traveled most of the US, and had my share of Tacky Tourist Places (read Virginia Beach on July 4th), I have to say that Rima’s has some of the best merchandise and prices I have ever seen. Quality stuff, not the 3 for $20 t-shirts I saw most tourist places.

So, a “C” and a half later, I am now in the market for another piece of luggage. (People at work may stop reading here). Cool, and I may stop back by for another trip to pick up some gifts.

Anyway, we looked the day was slipping away, so we decided to visit the local Garnd Marche grocery store, after a quick trip to COST YOU LESS, which was like Sams. Both of which I drove to without directions, thus proving I have researched this place WAAAY too much. Anyway, I proceeded to get lost on the way back to Simpson Bay after leaving there and ACE HARDWARE (Quick stop for a fan). Ended up back at Rima’s TWICE! (Round-abouts (traffic circles) are cool). Went back and unpacked and hung out on the balcony, then ventured out to Lido’s.

Highly recommend the Ribs there. Smoked Baby-Back ribs, I told the kids were Aardvark and Giraffe. (More for me). Went back to Lay Bay and watched the sun go down, which was really cool, as a 15 minute Caribbean storm made it really nice. I think I could love it here.

Ate ribs and watched the kids play in the ocean,. As the last bit of light tooko us into oblivion. Walked a bit on the beach and hunted for hermit crabs, then back to the pool, and blissfull rest.

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June 30th - Trip day!

2006-07-03T07:53:00.000-05:00

Jun 30th, 2006

Hello, you have reached my liver. However, I am not in right now, so please leave a message. I am burying my liver in the back yard.

Well we did it. We got to Paradise. I’m so happy to be here, and so glad. it’s kinda weird that after waking up at 3:30 AM, flying to Mimi, connecting, then on to St Martin, Hitting Putt-Putt golf at Sputters to let some people we were meeting know we were arriving late (more on that later), going out to Free Happy hour, then .50 Happy hour (they jacked up those prices every ½ hour at Bamboo Bernies), then going out to dinner at Jimbo’s, letting the kids go crazy, getting back to the Pelican Resort, going swimming for two beers (oops I mean 47 minutes), then going back to the room….. I suddenly find myself alone, typing away, and after a quick 20 hours, wife, and kids have crashed.. Pansies… haha..

Anyway. First impressions. WOW. It rocks here. Everything goes like clockwork.. Ok the clock runs a bit slower, but it’s nice.

How was your day honey? “Better than going to work”, said my 6 year old.

What’s better than waking up at 4 AM to go on vacation? Waking up at 3:30, or so my wife told me around 11 PM last night. That was a short one. Naturally having an excellent internal clock, I simply woke up wide awake at 3:00 AM just to show that Damn alarm! There’s simply no falling asleep after that one!

Nonetheless, getting up any time to leave on vacation rocks!.

YUM
Raisin-Encrusted Wheat English Muffins with Clarified Butter Sauce.

All I got to say is where’s my FU$#%in BACON!!!!!

Leftover from Last vacation:
Fun things to do on vacation day #1: Run into the kids room when you wake them up, screaming: “Of my gosh, we overslept, we can’t go to St Martin. That’s the thing memories are made of, and works like a charm on it’s second anniversary.

Wanna know what’s weird? Clowns on laughing gas. Seriously though, my son, 6, was up at getting dressed at 4:40 AM when I walked into his room yelling aforementioned joke.

He indicated that he simply woke up because he smelled something good (see Raisin-Encrusted Wheat English Muffins with Clarified Butter Sauce above), but that it did not smell as good as bacon.

Note to self: Call Bob’s Bacon Emporium and see if they deliver.

Awoke, packed car, went to airport, checked in with no delay, and had 30 minutes at the gate to relax, no real tales here. Tri was uneventful, the best kind, and arrived in Miami.

A funny thing on the plane: For all the planning I have done, I sat next to a group of 20 somethings, renting a villa in Terre Basses. I realized “Younger Jon” was one of them, when we started talking about how 4000-5000 hours of planning for a one week trip was perfectly normal.. haha..

Anyway, We spent an extra 15 minutes upon the ground in Miami, when the pilot came on and indicated he called away a maintenance ticket to be solved. It seems that a “couple of latches were loose on the pre-flight visual inspection of the outer shell of the airplane, and we thought we’d get them fixed before we took off.

Well I HAD HAD ENOUGH!! My luggage be Damned! Structural integrity BLAH BLAH.. I demanded an audience with the pilot and let me TELL YOU:

1). Duct tape hurts
2). There really ARE air marshals on those flights
3). They are big and take their job seriously

Just kidding.. Sorta.. Ok Duct Tape doesn’t hurt it washes right off.

Got under way, and arrived, deplaned through two exits, fore and aft (They do NOT like you deploying the rafts, regardless of what you may think).

Customs was a smile and 5 minutes in line. Friday is definitely the way to go here. I heard Saturday could be really bad. My intro to the island was Michael from Unity, with my name on the board, waiting, even though we were 48 minutes late. His Service and car rocked so far.

Definitely like everyone here mentioned, and he even told me not to spend any time waiting for Craig from PACK-LITE, who was servicing other customers, that he would go tell him to meet me at Unity lot while I filled out paperwork.

A quick trip, and 5 minutes of paperwork later, I was turned around to CRAIG, who was actually BOB, and Chairs, Umbrellas, and a cooler for the ext two weeks. Craig/BOB is meeting me at Unity when I leave so that I don’t have to make any extra trips. Great service guys at PACK-LITE.

The Pelican

Another View at the Pelican

After a quick stop at Sputters on the way past the Pelican, we briefly met KAREN and RICK from TTOL (Travetalkonline.com). We told them we’d catch them in an hour, since we had not checked in. Met up with them at 5 PM for “BEAT the CLOCK” happy hour at bamboo Bernies (The clock still won!).

Minda and Remy at Bamboo Bernie's

Also met Linda and Robert (BOB) from TTOL too. Great folks, and we ended up going to JIMBO’s for dinner afterward with Karen, Rick and Family.

Joslin's, Rick and Karen, and Kids

Let me tell you, Jimbo wrote me and told me that his restaurant was the greatest babysitter in St Martin .I think He’s right. Swim-up bar around the restaurant is perfect for the 5 kids we had between Jon and Rick’s families. The food was good, and Jimbo himself came over and introduced himself to me, remembered the email chain we had, and took good care of us. The food was “gourmet Mexican” and very good. Kids’ meals were pricy, but we split them between two kids. I had a Shredded beef Burrrito with Ancho Chilis that was good. Great hospitality, I would recommend Jimbo’s!

Jimbo's in Simpson Bay

Beware the Heniken are 10 Oz here. I thought I was Growing massive hands! That was scary for a bit.

11 PM, I am finishing a Carib, and rambling on. Tomorrow, it’s a meeting with the island wholesaler of t-shirts, etc, Rima’s, and a trip to Philipsburg, where my wife wants to look at diamonds. 2 to 1 says she couldn’t stomach buying one. I, on the other hand, must be VERY careful to stay away from the Breitling Watch Dealership.
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Jun 29th - 1 day and counting

2006-07-03T07:52:00.000-05:00

Jun 29th, 2006

Liver, Preee-pare to Die!

Where is St Martin?

So where is St Martin, St Maateen, and why the heck do they spell it so many ways…?
Early in January, I got the idea of going back to the Caribbean, after spending a lovely 14 days in the US and British Virgin Islands last year.

In looking at Jamaica, Nevis etc, I ran across first an airfare, then a website. 5 months, a web site, and a certifiable obsession later, we leave tomorrow for 16 days in St Martin. St Martin is about 190 miles from Puerto Rico, past the Virgin Islands, in the Netherlands Antilles. It about 34 sq Miles and is ½ Dutch on the south and ½ French on the north.

Despite what you may Google; it is NOT the smallest Island in the world to be divided into two sovereign countries. To be pedantic, at 34 Sq Miles, it’s not even in the top ten.

Before you doughheads of West Island in Boundary Lake jump in here, you are actually only #4!!

Nope, we’d have to go to middle island, Södra Boksjön, to see the world’s smallest island cut between Sweden and Norway. At .2 Acres, it’s about the size of a small lot (8700sq. Ft.). I think I won’t be flying there soon.

You can sleep now I am sure!

I then learned about Traveltalkonline (http://www.traveltalkonline.com/) which my wife would say is a simple harmless Google search gone bad. It’s something like this:

“For dinner tonight, we’ll have the crack pipe soufflé, with the Cocaine reduction and a side of heroin needles.” Or as my wife puts it: “Your new girlfriend.”

I of course think she’s overreacting, and that renaming our Children:

“St. Maarten - St. Martin” and “SXM People Talk” is perfectly normal behavior.

Anyway, away we go!

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Liver, Preee-pare to Die!

2006-06-29T13:47:00.000-05:00

Jun 29th, 2006

Liver, Preee-pare to Die!
So where is St Martin, St Maateen, and why the heck do they spell it so many ways…?
Early in January, I got the idea of going back to the Carribean, after spending a lovely 14 days in the US and British Virgin Islands last year.

In looking at Jamaica, Nevis etc, I ran across first an airfare, then a website. 5 months, a web site, and a certifiable obsession later, we leave tomorrow for 16 days in St Martin. St Martin is about 190 miles from Puerto Rico, past the Virgin Islands, in the Netherland Antilles. It about 34 sq Miles and is ½ Dutch on the south and ½ French on the north.

Despite what you may Google; it is NOT the smallest Island in the world to be divided into two sovereign countries. To be pedantic, at 34 Sq Miles, it’s not even in the top ten.

Before you doughheads of West Island in Boundry Lake jump in here, you are actually only #4!!

Nope, We’d have to go to middle island, Södra Boksjön, to see the world’s smallest island cut between Sweden and Norway. At .2 Acres, it’s about the size of a small lot (8700sq. Ft.). I think I won’t be flying there soon.

You can sleep now I am sure!

I then learned about Traveltalkonline (http://www.traveltalkonline.com/) which my wife would say is a simple harmless google search gone bad. It’s something like this:

“For dinner tonight, we’ll have the crack pipe soufflé, with the Cocaine reduction and a side of heroin needles.” Or as my wife put’s it: “Your new girlfriend.”

I of course think she’s overreacting, and that renaming our Children:

“St. Maarten - St. Martin” and “SXM People Talk” is perfectly normal behavior.

Anyway, away we go!

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But first a serious note...

2006-06-29T09:14:00.000-05:00

Well folks, there's less than 24 hours to go, and the obsession that started as a well placed question "Where to you want to go this summer?" is about to unleash it's ugly head.

Before I start, I'd like to say that we sold our company, and a lot of changes look like they are on the horizon. Before I leave on vacation I want to say that I have had the pleasure of working with some really great people, and have enjoyed the company.

As we look forward to a new start, focus on making sure that you continue to do your job, and remember no matter what happens going forward, change is good. Thrive.. I know you can.

For anyone caught up in job changes during this time. All I can say is don't worry, things tend to work out for the best, and make every day better than the last. You never know what the future holds, or how long you have your health..

It's been a pleasure working with all of you, regardless of what happens going forward.

-Jon
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Greetings everyone!!! Getting ready for ST Maarten!

2006-05-31T10:34:00.000-05:00

Greetings!!! Getting ready for ST Maarten!

St Martin. Dutch on bottom, French on top. Yellow line is border

30 days and counting.

If you haven't heard (and it must be becuase you are in a cave somewhere), we are going to Dutch and French St Maarten for 15 days, starting Jun 30th.

Stay tuned for more Blogging!

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